"You know, Tom," this sage said to me, glancing up from his well thumbed copy of Heidegger's Sein und Zeit, "we really ought to make Prince William Governor-General of Australia."

Speed	Included Downloads	Monthly Charge	Excess per MB	Included Uploads	IP Address
256/64	2GB	$45	0.6c	Unlimited	Static
512/128	6GB	$65	0.6c	Unlimited	Static
512/512	6GB	$125	0.6c	Unlimited	Static
1500/256	10GB	$125	0.6c	Unlimited	Static
256/64	Unlimited	$75	n/a	Unlimited	Static

He called his rescue racer crew As often they'd rehearsed And off to save the boy they flew But who would get there first?

Come and play with me, Jimmy Come and play with me. And I will take you on a trip Far across the sea.

From her broom broom in the sky She watched her plans materialize She waved her wand The beautiful boat was gone The skies grew dark The sea grew rough And the boat sailed on and on and on and on and on and on.

Well, if you check around the engine (do this when it is off and on a non-haunted car), you'll see a magic rune imprinted on it. This spell keeps the fire inside the engine. Were it ever scratched off, the next time you start your car, KA-BOOM! Every 100,000 miles, you really should have the rune re-enchanted by a sorcerer. Check you car's owner manual for more information.

I also watched “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea.” New restored widescreen Technicolor Cinemescope etc. version. Having only seen a scratchy pan-and-scan on TV as a kid, I was curious what the movie really looked like. Oy. It’s just sublime.

The inscription translates as L'hi hovers over everything. Actually, where I say hovers, it uses a word that also means bank and architecture and is a near-homonym in the original language for vulture. In fact, there's another hundred lines of it, but no-one remembers the rest.

This is what happens when you over microwave nacho cheese, and it becomes a planar vortex to the plane of cheese. Or there may be other reasons, but oh well. They Burn people to death with their boiling cheesiness!

“Um - it’s all underground? The steel mill is entirely underground?” “That’s right. Tall as a 50-story building, when completed. It will be the world’s biggest underground steel mill.” “It’ll be the world’s only underground steel mill.”

Nobody who genuinely loved superheroes would do that to them. The exception is Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, who plays the shape-shifter Mystique. I can’t say Miss Romijn-Stamos’ shape is in much need of shifting, particularly as she spends most of the movie dressed in a kind of skin-tight slime that makes it look as if she’s just emerged from the pit on Lesbian Mud-Wrestling Night at the local sports bar.

As perhaps the clearest evidence yet of the power of sophisticated but inexpensive game consoles, the National Center for Supercomputing Applications at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign has assembled a supercomputer from an army of Sony PlayStation 2 devices.

Perhaps the most striking aspect of the project, which uses the open-source Linux operating system, is that the only hardware engineering involved was placing 70 of the individual game machines in a rack and plugging them together with a high-speed Hewlett-Packard network switch. The center's scientists bought 100 machines but are holding 30 in reserve, possibly for high-resolution display application.

Anyone who works on the theory that you get what you pay for can't be too surprised by Blogger's recent problems. They've driven Tim Blair to a new home and tempted the Professor to follow suit. Unfortunately, despite donning a pair of elephantine trousers, borrowing a back-the-front baseball cap from young Master Bunyip, and addressing his computer his "dude", all that slash-dot-font-template stuff at Moveable Type was incomprensible when the Professor logged on early in the evening. It was even moreso after a bottle of red, several ports, an Irish coffee, a few more ports and, ill-advisedly, a long telephone conversation with Mrs. Bunyip's youngest brother, the clan's purported expert in matters cyber. The only wisdom gleaned from that exchange: An intoxicated academic should not expect sound counsel from a red-eyed young fellow whose explanations are punctuated by the background bubbling of a bong.

The lion-like predator, which could stand nearly a metre and weighed about 250 kilograms, had a pair of retractable thumb-like claws to disembowel or drag prey up trees. But a reconstruction of one of its feet has revealed for the first time that all of the lion's digits were retractable, not just the thumbs.

Dr Long said the prize of the Nullarbor fossil specimens included a horned kangaroo: "It is an adult specimen with a very peculiar bulbous nose."

When I was nine I saw a leprechaun. I’m not kidding. I was in the back seat of our car driving up the hill from the hotel my dad managed, back in Bermuda. I’d ridden up that hill, in that seat, hundreds of times. I knew every rock and clump of grass by heart. Anyway, there he sat, up against a familiar rock: little green pants, little green vest, little green top hat, small little bone-white pipe. Captain Ahab beard – white, no moustache. I screamed like we had just run over Lassie.

UPDATE ON THE ONGOING EFFORT TO USE TRAPS TO CATCH AND REMOVE THE RABBITS FROM MIAMI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT AND DRUG-SMUGGLING FACILITY BECAUSE THE RABBITS DIE AND ATTRACT VULTURES, WHICH GET CAUGHT IN JET ENGINES, WHICH CAUSES PLANES TO CRASH

And the Winner Is... Yes, it's time once again for the Unmitigated Twat of the Week Award! This week, we're departing slightly from tradition; this week, there was a tie for first place. All of these ladies' twattiness is equally unmitigated. So, without further ado, I give you The Unmitigated Twats of the Week, the High School Hazers! Mom, if you're reading, cover your ears. Or, umm, eyes. Now.

There was a time, so bright and gay, It seems like only yesterday, When I held your brain in my arms. Your adrenaline was like wine, Sweet perfume was your endocrine, When I held your brain in my arms.

Thanks for using Winamp. You are installation number 273,375,923.

Many people have asked me why I called my blog "Practical Penumbra." (Actually, that's a blatant lie; no one has asked. But I'm sure a lot of people are wondering........ok, maybe not a lot. But I digress......). I have always enjoyed saying the word "penumbra". It is, however, a difficult word to slip into daily conversation. I have therefore always wanted to name something "Penumbra" for that very reason, but having no offspring (unless Frank decides to take me up on my offer to bear his children), and an adopted kitty who came with his own perfectly good name already, I have never had the opportunity to name anything "Penumbra". But just "Penumbra" seemed a little lacking, so, having long been a great fan of alliteration, "Practical" sounded like an excellent adjective. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

The First law of Thermodynamics: Heat is work and work is heat Very Good. The Second law of Thermodynamics: Heat cannot of itself pass from one body to a hotter body Heat won't pass from a cooler to a hotter You can try it if you like but you'd far better not-a 'Cos the cold in the cooler will get hotter as a rule-a 'Cos the hotter body's heat will pass to the cooler

class HelloWorld {
    public static void main (String args[]) {
        System.out.println("Hello World!");
    }
}

print "Hello, World!"

I don't know why these made me laugh so hard.. I think it was the possum.

Those struggling to distinguish the small alpine country in Europe from Australia were dealt a blow when a kangaroo was hit by a car and killed in central Austria.

A police officer in Steyr reached by phone said that coming across a kangaroo - dead or alive - was "extremely uncommon around here."